Saturday, February 14, 2009

The Tale of Violet Beauregarde


Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is a lovely little morality play.

Consider Charlie Bucket. Charlie works his butt off and gives the money to his family. Charlie does his chores and never complains. Charlie isn't just a good little boy... the kid is perfect. Christlike in his perfection. So perfect that the writers of the first film adaptation (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory) had to take him down a notch. The whole Fizzy Lifting Drink scene was added because the writers felt Charlie was a bit too perfect and the audience wouldn't be able to relate.

In contrast to the spotless sainthood that is Charlie you have the four most horrible children in the world. These are horrible, horrible little vermin. Augustus Gloop is pure gluttony. Veruca Salt is the ultimate spoiled child and was a brat way before Bratz. Mike TeeVee is an violent, uncaring little slug who doesn't listen, breaks the rules, and parks his lazy ass in front of the tube.

And then there is Violet Beauregard. What is Violet's mortal sin? Get this... she CHEWS GUM. Holy jumpin' jimminy, she chews gum.

Each of the "bad" children suffer a fate related to their sin. Gloop nearly drowns in the chocolate he loves, Salt ends up in the trash (didn't Charlie say something about bad salt being thrown out? No, wait, that was Christ), and TeeVee ends up shrunk and on, well, TV. Violet? She turns purple and blows up to enormous, body destroying proportions.

Let's face it. Violet isn't being singled out because she chews gum. I mean, Wonka makes the shit. Nope, it's because Violet is a go-getter. She's a winner. And we all know that any woman who is driven and determined is a royal bitch.

Don't tell me that Violet's sin is pride, and that her blueberry bulging is a metaphor for "puffing up with pride". This girl kicks ass, and she should be proud of her accomplishments. She doesn't deserve to be vilified. I mean come on, it isn't like she kissed Madonna. Or her son, Charlie.

No comments: